Don't You Step On My Retard Shoes

How hard is it to buy a decent pair of shoes these days?

Apparently for me, very hard. This I found out when I attempted to buy shoes from Topman the other week. I think the comment which I sent to them to complain sums this up neatly:

Dear Topman,

The other day, I bought some shoes from your Chester store on a shopping trip with my girlfriend. (I had a great day, you'll be delighted to know.)

Now, this may seem stupid, but I thought you may wish to know this, just in case you wanted to signpost this for other customers who may have the same problem I had. I bought a pair of green shoes which on the shelf appeared to have no laces. I presumed that this was to stop people stealing them, for who would steal shoes with no laces? No-one. I tried on the shoes, again without laces presuming that the laces would be in with the shoes when I bought them, that I was only trying them on for the general fit and once again the laces were not present to stop me from running off with the shoes without paying.

Whilst paying for the shoes, I did not want to ask if the laces were in the box with the shoes, for fear of looking stupid. (Which is kind of redundant now) Therefore, imagine my shock and horror when I arrived home to find my shoes lace-less! However, this was not the end to my astonishment as I then found that there way no holes to thread laces into should I wish to! There was only ringlets for fashion purposes (which, to be honest, I think look a bit silly without the laces... but if that's the style).

So now, I am walking round with shoes that baffle me and my friends and luckily, just about fit. Other customers may not be so lucky in future, however, therefore I felt it necessary to warn you about this so you may be able to warn the other idiots, like me, out there.

Yours,

Robert Cattell

So now I am the proud owner of shoes that look like this:

They will now be forever known as my 'retard shoes' for two very 'special' reasons:

1. Whether it is the fashion at the moment or not, without laces these shoes look retarded.
2. I am the retard who bought them.

Bobbikk