Don't Tap The Glass Timmy, You'll Scare The Racist.

It's official, Big Brother is now the root of all evil and the destroyer of souls and Jade Goody is Satan herself. I go back to university for one week and the world goes to pot, I don't know, do I have to be watching it all the time like a small child?

Seriously, this is ridiculous. Apparently, Britain is going to lose trade from India because Jade Goody made some remarks in Big Brother (which I'm sure you've all heard by now is known as 'Bigot Brother') that may or may not have been racially offensive. Now, whether or not you find them offensive in this way is up to you, however who the hell has ever taken anything that came out of Jade Goody's mouth seriously? Our international relations with India are going to be slurred by a woman who doesn't know where East Anglia is, a beauty queen who got disqualified for sleeping with one of the Judges and a member of S-Club 7? Really? No, really?

When has Big Brother ever been an accurate representation of the British public? If we were all like the people they put in there, every gay person would be highly camp and annoying enough to piss off even the crazy frog, 75% of our women would be complete and utter slags (which may be true in some places which I won't name, but isn't for most of the country) and we'd all be going round complaining that our next door neighbour is 'two faced' and obviously has a 'game-plan'.

Big Brother is not real. It's a bunch of un-natural people put in an un-natural environment. If they're racist in there, then tell them to stop or they'll be evicted and not be paid, then they'll shut up and hopefully have damaged their career enough to never be seen again once they leave. Heaven knows they deserve it. However, don't make a huge international scene out of it just because a few morons can't accept other cultures and people.

This is reality television, therefore you do from time to time get real idiot racists, deal with it.

Bobbikk

In Demand

I'm in demand. Obviously due to my unbelievable amazingness, I have people battering at my door and screaming through the windows for new posts. Take, for example, this last comment left on my last post from a crazed fan:

"Any chance of an update?"

Now, for those of you who are only amateur language analysts and more importantly paranoids, I shall disect this seemingly innocent sentence. Firstly, 'any' obviously this person will go to 'any' length to get his fix of Bobbikk.co.uk and when the source dries up, he resorts to extreme lengths, such as delirious comment leaving to aquire it.

Secondly, 'chance'. Ah-ha! This lunatic has been playing with lady luck, I see! He has undoubtable placed all his lifes savings into a wager with a good friend as to whether there will be another post out on my website soon and therefore is trying to tip the odds in his favour. This being the case, I ask him to seek help from a phsychiatrist for his worrying gambling addiction.

'of' and 'an': The use of such small words is a disturbing insight into the mind of a cold blooded killer. I cannot even begin to describe the connotations of such foul language. God help us all.

And finally, 'update'. Now, this word is intruiging. Due to his fast paced typing, the comment-leaver has accidentally rammed his last two words, 'up' and 'date', together. Quite simply, he was asking me for an 'up', which is street slang for 'cool', 'happening' or 'groovy', date. However, as I am currently in a relationship this is sadly not possible. (This also goes for you Hánná Húmpalot, I do not want to get together and shag for a while, despite what your spam-mail suggests.)

As you can see, I am deeply unnerved by this comment left on my blog, but I will resist the urge to go into hiding until the threat has passed. Either that, or the guy just wanted to know if there was going to be an update soon. In which case:

Yes, this is an update. Sorry for taking so long, I have been working quite hard on OwMyEars.com and have sadly neglected this site. I will try not to let it happen again. Sorry.

Bobbikk