It's a Sign of the Times

In Lancaster there are many odd signs. This includes the one I saw today on the flower stall that said, "Ideal for cemeteries!" Now, let me ask, how many people come past that stall and think "oh yeah, I've been looking for ages for a set of flowers to put on that grave!" I believe the answer is none. Sometimes I think Lancaster is a bit mad...

Even the street names are a bit bonkers, take a look at this one:


I wonder what goes on down there that makes the alley so bashful! Perhaps a bit of post-clubbing naughtyness? Who knows! Maybe we shall never find out!

Bobbikk

Captain Comedy

So, once again I have taken ages to come up with a new post. Sorry, I'm just a very boring person at the moment. I don't see you writing your own blog on the important issues of the world though. Well... except, y'know, the few of you who do. In which case, if you're one of them... er... well done, give yourself a round of applause. However, to the rest of you I stick my tongue out at you in a most rude and impudent fashion. Ha! Didn't see that coming did you?

Right, well to inform you, my stand up routine was received with a fairly warm response. Most people laughed at least a little, so I was pleased and at least I didn't die on my arse. Unlike the person after me from the sounds of it. If you had the chance to come and just decided not to, well... your loss in the end. For those who couldn't be there though, here's the topics which I talked about on the night:

• My Lack of Experience at Stand-Up (to rapturous fake laughing, which was great)
  
• The Trials and Tribulations of Being a Lifeguard
• The Evil That is 9.99 and That Bloody Penny
• "Baby"
  
• The Mysterons on LSD

Hopefully it will be an experience I'll repeat at some point. It is, I must say though, one of the most terrifying things I've ever done. Not quite as scary as killing that wasp last year with a rolled up newspaper (seriously, I nearly died) but it's up there alongside such terrifying moments as 'realising there is no toilet paper in the toilet 5 minutes too late'.

Anyway, I found another interesting sign the other day, so there should be another post soon enough, when I can be bothered to upload it.

Bobbikk a.k.a Captain Comedy (yeah, right...)

It's the End of the World.

Firstly, very sorry about the complete lack of posts over the last few weeks, I've just found very little to write about. People need to be more stupid.

Whilst we're on the subject of stupidity, I'm hoping to try my hand at some stand-up comedy in the coming weeks. All likelyhood points to me dying on my ass and if you would like to see me fail at something, or God forbid would like to help me by laughing, then the show (along with many other probably better acts) will be on at the Gregson Centre in Lancaster on Tuesday 13th of February.

Right, now my shameless plug is out of the way, I can get on to a more important issue. I'm ill. I have a blocked nose (pronounced: dose) and a soar throat. I think I may be dying of it. You may laugh but what I don't think most of you know is that I am a complete hypochondriac. For example, I once thought I had stomach cancer because I was a little hungry after a meal. I think you can see the extent of the problem that we're dealing with here.

Ok, so having a little bit more knowledge of my background and that I'm terminally ill, imagine my reaction when I read this BBC news story. It's bird flu, isn't it? I have the bird flu. There's no possible chance that the rest of my house have all just had colds and I've got it off them and that it's not bird flu because that's miles away in Suffolk. Nope. I'm a gonner.

Oh well, in the end it's one way or the other, bird flu or global warming, isn't it?

Bobbikk